How to Melt an Angry Heart

“The lies grow big in me when I’m angry,” he admits. Slight
shoulders hunch high near black hair on a honey-colored neck. His mom listens,
and they talk side by side, as the miles hum below them.
My boy yells loud from a tall cream-colored loft. “Noooo, me
not sleep, Mom!  Me get up!” Tantrums erupt
from tiny lungs. Tirades and angry tears rage. In between bouts, I affirm good
choices, and deal with bad choices. After one explosive outburst, while tears
still fall, I hold him close. Kissing his sandy hair, I murmur in his ear, “Even
when you are naughty, I love you. Even when you make bad choices, I love you.” The
fight surprises me by how rapidly it leaves his body. Muscles and limbs soften,
and his back presses in tight against my stomach. He leans his forehead against
my forearm, and we snuggle in silence for a moment. “Sorry a being mean, mom.”
He works with me the same way, my Creator. My tantrums erupt
from tiny lungs, and tearful tirades follow. “Did you hear what they said, God…?”
or “But he…” and in between bouts my Abba affirms good choices and deals with
my bad ones. 
“The lies grow big in me when I’m angry,” I confess to him, “and
I am afraid to trust it all completely. What if…?” 
He grabs me close. Whispering against
stick-straight auburn hair, or through letters in time, he says, 
“The Lord is slow to anger and great in power…”
“…The Lord is good,
A refuge in times of trouble.
He cares for those who trust in him…”
Isn’t our God a gentle teacher? Through our tirades, or our
kids’, or friends’, he is patient, loving, tender, and safe. I am striving to
model that in my own interactions. 
What helps to melt your angry heart, or helps
to disarm another’s angry heart? (For those in email, you can join the discussion here.) 

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  1. Dontmissyoursunsetlady on August 15, 2012 at 9:36 pm

    I am so very encouraged by this post! What an anology!

  2. Unknown on August 16, 2012 at 1:53 am

    I think He even whispers how He still loves us when we're naughty. 🙂

  3. LOLITA on August 16, 2012 at 1:59 am

    A great one, Jen. The analogy is so powerful.

    I love to think about how He loves us despite….. He loved me in my worst, He waited for me until I sobered, He knocked and He waited…until I fully understood even letting me go through experiences that wouldn't have been if I was listening to His small voice before the bad choices.

    But all those are redeemed now and I am a recipient of His Divine grace.

    I so want to see Him more as a Father than a Great unreachable figure.

  4. Cheryl Barker on August 16, 2012 at 7:23 pm

    Oh yes, love is a powerful force to melt an angry heart. Sometimes it just takes awhile…

    Blessings to you, Jennifer!

  5. Pam on August 17, 2012 at 9:54 pm

    It sounds like you are modeling this beautifully to your son, Jennifer. I love how he relaxed in sweet repentance and healing love against you. Beautiful story. Beautiful analogy.

  6. AmyAlves on August 18, 2012 at 8:22 pm

    Just breathe… is usually the thought that slows my mind enough to deal with circumstances at hand. Taking a moment of silence before God, listening to His guidance, before responding. I sure don't always get it right Jennifer. Thanks for sharing your beautiful story. ~ Blessings Amy 🙂

  7. Wise Hearted on August 19, 2012 at 3:42 am

    It seems the older I get the easier it is to forgive hurts that use to make me angry. I Cor. 2:2 is my life verse, I am determined to know nothing other then Christ Jesus and Him cruified.

    When that sunk into my heart I realized to get over anything I need to get to know Him better, not the person who hurt me or the circumstance but HIM…Good post.

  8. Jennifer Dougan on August 20, 2012 at 5:56 pm

    Thank you, Angelonwheels.


  9. Jennifer Dougan on August 20, 2012 at 6:00 pm

    Shannon, yes! I thought so too, but didn't write. It's fun to hear that we are on the same thought patterns.


  10. Jennifer Dougan on August 20, 2012 at 6:10 pm


    What an great honest hint about your testimony! I would love to hear more of your story. Do you have a post somewhere about your battle through alcoholism, and how you met Jesus? I would love to learn more.

    isn't he a tender and compassionate God?!


  11. Jennifer Dougan on August 20, 2012 at 6:16 pm

    Thank you, Cheryl. Yes, sometimes it does take time, huh…?

    Thanks for stopping by!


  12. Jennifer Dougan on August 20, 2012 at 6:19 pm

    Hi Pam,

    "Relaxing into sweet repentance and healing love" — what great lines!


  13. Jennifer Dougan on August 20, 2012 at 6:22 pm


    Breathing, pausing to think, and breathing some more are great ways to diffuse an angry heart. Thanks for stopping by.


  14. Jennifer Dougan on August 20, 2012 at 6:25 pm


    "Resolved to know nothing more than Christ crucified" — that really puts all hurts into perspective, doesn't it? Thank you, friend.

    Jennifer Dougan

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