Trying to Be a Good Mom
April 13, 2012
Silence descends on our home now. I flip on soothing music, cut some cheese wedges, and curl up next to the computer.
It’s hard work being a mom.
In stress and angst over school, schedules, or their social life, my teens’ emotions can escalate. Sadly, mine do too.
We have had real estate home showings the last three nights in a row – for which we are thankful—but the interruptions to homeschooling and the constant cleaning take their toll too.
Yesterday I was crabby. One of my kids was having a rough time with a subject and was consequently sending ripple effects of anger and angst around them. Stirring rich red curry on a white stove top, trying not to spill any for the upcoming showing, we read through sentences about electromagnetism.
Today after two hours of showings, we returned to a spotless home, and resumed homework. Another kid and I sparred about homework expectations and freedoms.
It’s hard work being a mom.
Pausing the cyclical battling conversation with one of my teens, I trundled up my toddler, prepared him for bed, and kissed him good night. Walking back into the living room to an angry teen, I silently prayed and checked my own heart and attitude. “Jesus, I don’t want to be angry so often. I don’t want these battles. Help me to be a great mom, a great teacher, and a great follower of you.”
This morning’s Bible study lesson kept springing to mind. Old Testament prophet Jonah was throwing a temper tantrum with the God of the universe, and God asked him, “Have you any right to be angry?”
Do you have the right to be angry here, Jen?
The funny thing is that… I would have probably been miffed in Jonah’s place too. His pride was on the line and he may have just seemed discredited to his peers and a watching nation. His professionalism might have seemed tarnished now too. Pride again.
Yet God asked him again, “Do you have any right to be angry?”
So walking back into my living room, I realized how often I felt crabby and angry lately, even for seemingly accepted reasons. I didn’t want to be like that. Often it had to do with my pride too. Do you have any right to be angry, Jen?
Nope. Not really. The God of the universe loved me. His gifts stack high around me in family; friends; life; breath; pulsing, vivid grass, blossoms, trees; imminent lilacs…
Pulling up the office chair next to my teen, I started with a shoulder hug, and a humble quiet voice. “Hey, I really want to be a good mom and a good teacher here. Let’s talk…”
The tension visibly melted in both of us. Stresses, motivators, and deeper triggered issues were brought up. Humbly, slowly, we clicked on the screen and worked together. The angst faded away, replaced with light laughter and peace.
Thank you, Abba, for restoration, for calm, for a changed attitude in me. Teach me, please. Teach us.
Hi friend. What have you been thinking about this week? What are you learning?