Wednesday, August 15, 2012

How to Melt an Angry Heart

“The lies grow big in me when I’m angry,” he admits. Slight shoulders hunch high near black hair on a honey-colored neck. His mom listens, and they talk side by side, as the miles hum below them.

My boy yells loud from a tall cream-colored loft. “Noooo, me not sleep, Mom!  Me get up!” Tantrums erupt from tiny lungs. Tirades and angry tears rage. In between bouts, I affirm good choices, and deal with bad choices. After one explosive outburst, while tears still fall, I hold him close. Kissing his sandy hair, I murmur in his ear, “Even when you are naughty, I love you. Even when you make bad choices, I love you.” The fight surprises me by how rapidly it leaves his body. Muscles and limbs soften, and his back presses in tight against my stomach. He leans his forehead against my forearm, and we snuggle in silence for a moment. “Sorry a being mean, mom.”

He works with me the same way, my Creator. My tantrums erupt from tiny lungs, and tearful tirades follow. “Did you hear what they said, God…?” or “But he…” and in between bouts my Abba affirms good choices and deals with my bad ones. 

“The lies grow big in me when I’m angry,” I confess to him, “and I am afraid to trust it all completely. What if…?” 

He grabs me close. Whispering against stick-straight auburn hair, or through letters in time, he says, 

“The Lord is slow to anger and great in power..."

"…The Lord is good,
A refuge in times of trouble.
He cares for those who trust in him…”

Isn’t our God a gentle teacher? Through our tirades, or our kids’, or friends’, he is patient, loving, tender, and safe. I am striving to model that in my own interactions. 

What helps to melt your angry heart, or helps to disarm another’s angry heart? (For those in email, you can join the discussion here.) 


Dontmissyoursunsetlady said...

I am so very encouraged by this post! What an anology!

Unknown said...

I think He even whispers how He still loves us when we're naughty. :)

LOLITA said...

A great one, Jen. The analogy is so powerful.

I love to think about how He loves us despite..... He loved me in my worst, He waited for me until I sobered, He knocked and He waited...until I fully understood even letting me go through experiences that wouldn't have been if I was listening to His small voice before the bad choices.

But all those are redeemed now and I am a recipient of His Divine grace.

I so want to see Him more as a Father than a Great unreachable figure.

Cheryl Barker said...

Oh yes, love is a powerful force to melt an angry heart. Sometimes it just takes awhile...

Blessings to you, Jennifer!

Pam said...

It sounds like you are modeling this beautifully to your son, Jennifer. I love how he relaxed in sweet repentance and healing love against you. Beautiful story. Beautiful analogy.

AmyAlves said...

Just breathe... is usually the thought that slows my mind enough to deal with circumstances at hand. Taking a moment of silence before God, listening to His guidance, before responding. I sure don't always get it right Jennifer. Thanks for sharing your beautiful story. ~ Blessings Amy :)

Wise Hearted said...

It seems the older I get the easier it is to forgive hurts that use to make me angry. I Cor. 2:2 is my life verse, I am determined to know nothing other then Christ Jesus and Him cruified.

When that sunk into my heart I realized to get over anything I need to get to know Him better, not the person who hurt me or the circumstance but HIM...Good post.

Jennifer Dougan said...

Thank you, Angelonwheels.


Jennifer Dougan said...

Shannon, yes! I thought so too, but didn't write. It's fun to hear that we are on the same thought patterns.


Jennifer Dougan said...


What an great honest hint about your testimony! I would love to hear more of your story. Do you have a post somewhere about your battle through alcoholism, and how you met Jesus? I would love to learn more.

isn't he a tender and compassionate God?!


Jennifer Dougan said...

Thank you, Cheryl. Yes, sometimes it does take time, huh...?

Thanks for stopping by!


Jennifer Dougan said...

Hi Pam,

"Relaxing into sweet repentance and healing love" -- what great lines!


Jennifer Dougan said...


Breathing, pausing to think, and breathing some more are great ways to diffuse an angry heart. Thanks for stopping by.


Jennifer Dougan said...


"Resolved to know nothing more than Christ crucified" -- that really puts all hurts into perspective, doesn't it? Thank you, friend.

Jennifer Dougan