The Radical Choices After “I Do”
|Photo credit to Josiah Mackenzie|
It wasn’t a proud moment.
Huddling under blankets, I squeezed my eyes against the closet light, and buried further into muffled quiet. He dressed, searched for matching socks, and I grumbled at the interruptions to my nap.
Soon, my man turned off the light and left the room. Grabbing my last twenty minutes of sleep, I burrowed deep into sheets and pillow. Kitchen noises, microwave door slams, and cabinet clatters grated on me. Then there was silence and a blissful few moments of sleep, before the alarm woke me.
Padding out to the kitchen I saw a note on the table next to a tall glass. “I love you. Here is some chai to wake you up. You may need to reheat it.” White whipped topping swirled with grated nutmeg above creamy chai tea.
Embarrassment at my inner grumblings mixed with shame, and I apologized to God for my attitude. Grabbing my phone, I texted my husband just as his worship practice was starting, “You’re a nice man! Thanks for the note and the chai.”
“You are my love, my life, the best friend I know,” he responded.
I was wooed, romanced, and thrilled. Dashing off a quick reply to him since he had to start drumming, I then turned to my chai and my Bible.
Choices. We all make them.
My husband chose to be kind to me, despite my sleepy grumbles. I was humbled, touched, and different for the rest of the day.
Choosing to look for good in each other, choosing to respond in gentle humility, choosing joy and life over selfish grumblings, choosing kingdom life…
We have been choosing to pray together every morning, my husband and I. While we had always known the benefits of that, this is a new consistency and new intentionality for us. Pausing life, ignoring the kids for a moment, and before one of us heads out the door, we hug, lean close, and step into the throne room. Foreheads or cheeks touching, we pray with soft voices for each other. Naming battles, praying blessings, choosing this radical other way of Kingdom life. A life that is so counter-intuitive some days –gentleness, other-focused, patient — that it involves a conscious retraining of our mind and actions.
And it is so good. We see Jesus in the softness, in the gentle, in the serving.
“You and Mark seem… different,” said a friend yesterday who knows us well, nodding her head and smiling. I thanked her, talked of God, and shared my brokenness.