Running in My Head Like a Memory
I have these verses that run through my mind. You probably have them too. They are the verses that I grab when my thoughts start to stray, or when sin habits rear up strong.
They are the verses I whisper to myself while plunging hands into soapy dishwater, staring out the window. The verses I speak out across the front lawn, past the robins, the blue jays, and into the bushes–lilacs with slow signs of growth–while absentmindedly scrubbing plates and bowls. The verses I write across journal pages, tape to bathroom walls that curl up in hot steam, and tell myself often.
I call them to mind whenever I forget, or music grabs me, and the lies start.
Because all sin, really, is about lies. The lies we tell ourselves vary, but the themes are the same: this will fulfill that need; this is justified; this will be harmless; this has no effect.
So, in cadence, I stop, grab the truth and speak them to my heart.
“You were taught, Jen, with regards to your former way of life
to put off the old self
which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires…”
(–Jen, don’t be deceived… every good and perfect gift comes from above, from the Father of heavenly lights who does not change like shifting shadows.” If it’s not coming down from above, it’s not yours, and you are being deceived and corrupted, my girl.)
“To be made new in the attitude of your mind…”
(Made new, grabbed truth. Legitimate answers to legitimate needs, dropped down by the Father of heavenly lights, but not deceiving myself. Retraining my mind, retraining my heart, my responses, my reactions.)
“To be made new in the attitude of your mind,
To put on the new self,
created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”
(Putting on a new self –not simply pulling on a new outfit to hide the old– but a brand new start, created by a master Designer.)
“Created to be like God, in true righteousness and holiness.”
These verses run through my mind. I grab them when sin habits creep in, or lies trickle into my consciousness. These are the verses I whisper to myself while plunging hands into soapy dishwater staring out the window. The verses I speak out across the front lawn, past the robins, the blue jays, and into the bushes.
My mom? Just this weekend, we whirred along suburban streets to carpool teens. Alone in the car, our talk turned to verses that were grabbing our attention lately. In gentle measured tones, my mom spoke words of truth from ancient Roman prisoners. Words inked on parchment to tiny churches in Ephesus and Greek Thessalonika fell into my car in cadence.The words spoke truth into our relationships, families, coworkers, and marriages. And the breath in me caught, as I shifted and changed highway lanes.
“You too?” I breathed. “Me too! I have verses that run through my mind that I grab and speak aloud…”
We recited the words that spoke truth and focus to us, eyes squinting at times to see them in our mind. I made a mental note to find hers and write them out, adding them to these.
I have these verses that run through my mind.
You probably have them too.
What are yours in this season?