When We Stop Seeing the Tape

Coffee and the morning sunshine rush my senses, illuminate the laminated map on my kitchen table, and highlight a few of last night’s crumbs. I’ve been soaking in the words from the Biblical book of Nehemiah these last few months, returning to them again and again as I review for this weekend’s women’s retreat. Photo:…

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What Blocks You from Living Full and Regret-Free

“Should we tell them what the meat is?” she asked me and I could hear the smile in her voice over the phone. “No, let’s wait until later in the meal,” I decided. “They’ll be more open to it.” The next day we scavenged chairs from all corners of my house and seated seven of…

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What We Are Drawn To in Uncertain Times

“There’s something about a man or woman who has loved God for a long time that is peaceful,” she said aloud. Photo: Ed Yourdon, Creative Commons, cc license We were stabbing forks into slippery red cherry tomatoes and coaxing precarious bites of spinach salad into our mouths in the hospital cafeteria. She told me again.…

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Hidden in You Beneath the Hubbub and Silence

Photo: Marian Beck, Creative Commons, cc license Green nubby sedum buds have turned fuscia and pink lavender, these knobby plant-blossoms more akin to cauliflower than petals. They’ve announced autumn on hot summery days and it’s only now that I see and believe them. Cool September rains fell all morning and a crisp wind bends green…

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You, With Your Foot in Two Worlds

 “So are you ready to let me go yet?” he asks, grinning with a soft cheekiness as he sits on the cement steps of his home. Photo: Justin Spencer, Creative Commons, cc license “No! I’m proposing surgery and insurance, and things like that,” I reply, throwing back a glance at him, and rounding to my…

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The Other Woman in my Marriage

Elbows deep in a crumpled cardboard box, sitting on the wooden floor in my kitchen, I hear him. Coming up behind me, he ropes his arms around me, and nuzzles my neck. His two day-old beard and mustache scratch my skin, raising a chill down my lower back. Surrounded by moving boxes towering high and…

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The Thing To Know on a Day (or Month) of Firsts

 Ahh, this feels good, sitting down to tap fingers on keys. There have been a variety of firsts these last few days. First night to sleep in the new home on Thursday. First shower in the new place — nope, sorry, it wasn’t Friday morning. I left grungy and ready for a morning of cleaning…

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And It’s In You Too…

Photo: Martin Beek, Creative Commons, cc license Photo: Rodney Campbell, Creative Commons, cc license Yellow, black, and white goldfinches flit and dart about the sunflowers. In the mad jungle of ragtag red, orange, and yellow sunflowers, a crowd of goldfinches has moved in. With circus precision, the finches hang upside down, bobbing on the gangly…

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The First Time I Ever Prayed THAT Before Vacation

His long toes and foot stretched out slowly from the backseat of the car to settle on my armrest. “Is this okay, Mom?” John asked. Reflected in my sun-visor, his broad shoulders spilled past his third of the backseat, brushing against my daughter’s. His leg slid up to the front seat’s armrest, flexing out stiffness.…

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Slowing Summer Down & Speeding Up What Matters

Photo: Ron Doke, Creative Commons, cc license Photo: Dennis Larsen, Creative Commons, cc license Throaty Bryan Adams’-style singing drifts over from the church nearby. Flashy classic, sport, and muscle cars line up in rows, hoods propped open, motors gleaming at an annual summer car show. Live music streams past the aroma of grilled hot dogs,…

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