Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Captain, My Captain ... and God as the Greatest Psychologist


Okay, some feedback from yesterday's post reminded me that you may not know me well enough for me to not explain myself. Yesterday's post spoke of me threatening and forbidding my husband and being critical of him. That's wrong of me, obviously, and partly tongue in cheek!

And actually in our house, my husband is the boss. We believe from a look at some parts of the Bible that he is the leader of our home. We also believe that we are equal, and that both of our feedback is important. He has the hard job of loving me and the kids in the sacrificial way that Jesus loves his church -- thus putting my, our, needs above his own, and dying to what he wants for the benefit of our welfare. Whew! Hard job, huh?!

So in any hard decisions we may have to make, my husband and I talk over the issue, give feedback, weigh each other's ideas and then choose. In the hard cases where we don't know, I love resting in the fact that this is his choice. Isn't it great that God is a master psychologist, giving marriage advice from around 62 AD that counselors today say make for a fulfilling marriage?

And me? My marriage job in obeying God is attempting to meet my husband's psychological needs of being respected. By me being his biggest fan, by my believing in him and cheering him on (giving honest feedback), and submitting to his lead in the dance of life... I am his wife, his lover and his friend.

As a passionate independent woman, I sometimes forget and take the lead in the dance of life. Several years ago, I chose an affectionate pet name for my husband as a reminder for my heart of who is leading our dance. "Captain." Our teens at youth group love it, and grin at us when it comes up. "Captain" is a natural part of my conversation now and a term of love.

So, yes, yesterday's post was showing my wrong attitude then, and being honest about my struggles. Thanks for stopping by, for reading, for growing with me. I appreciate you being here with me. Thanks for your great feedback and support!

What about you? What pet names do you have for your man and why?

(P.S. For you history buffs out there... know where the "Captain, my captain" term came from?)

6 comments:

justkt said...

Yea, I knew! That is from Walt Whitman.

I'm enjoying reading your blog.

The nickname for my hubby means handsome in a foreign language. I'll leave out the specific name but it was a name he got from a co-worker of mine before we had been dating for very long. My co-worker thought he was pretty good looking.

Tina said...

I enjoyed your previous post and thought it was important for you to be "real" with your readers. And you showed us how, in the end, you realized your behaviour was not appropriate. What a wonderful marriage you have that your husband can just laugh, and wait for you to figure it out! None of us are perfect spouses! God is continuing his good work in us, but He is not finished yet! Keep up the wonderful, truthful, writing!

Jennifer Dougan said...

Good job, Katie! Yes, it's the poem about Abraham Lincoln dying.

Thanks, Tina, for your encouragement and wise words!

Sheryl said...

Walt Whitman . . . no hubby, no pet names . . . maybe one day!

Houseofmills said...

who won the coffee!! hahahha

Jennifer Dougan said...

Liz,
It was Amy Saunders. Listed at the bottom of the "Like a Spy" post.

Should I do another giveaway soon ?:)

Jennifer

www.jenniferdougan.com